I Volunteered

I volunteered for the wounding
so long ago
wondering how I would survive
that much love.

No matter how agitated
or discrete,
I could not suffer enough
loss to make up for
all my sins.

I volunteered to ricochet
and echo through the silences of loss.
Nobody was listening.
Nobody wanted reflection
or silence.
It was a solitary assignment.

It was a smoke tower
waiting to see the first
blue plumes from the fires
hidden in the lush green
that looked like something
out of forever.