Loneliness

Splinters of light are caught in my hair tonight,
like shattered glass caught in the branches of moonlight,
my skin is torn open in a million places by the needles
of an unseen suffering.

Moon buries herself into my flesh with flashes of cold,
a twisting splinter of lost silver,
so deep under the surface
I dread brushing one hand against
the cool skin of another.
It is too painful to remember the warmth
of the love I couldn’t wait to touch
alone under the white of apple blossoms
where we could hide in the perfume of soft eyes
tracing the shadows of a promise.

In another dream of my life
the sky was so blue I forgot to watch
the color of my heart change into a storm.
The crew was asleep on the deck of this ship,
drunk with the rum of hope,
when the water whipped into the hold
and cracked the belly of this mother open.
She lost her treasure in the shallow waters
of this lonely lagoon and no one could dive
deep enough to recover the hard won coins
or precious light captured in stone crystals.

I sit barely covered in salt eaten cloth,
and my skin is tanned brown by the relentless
sun of constant loneliness.
I dream of making my escape
until I am driven mad by my empty words
and losses of all the days I’ve been shipwrecked here
on this island of nothingness.

It is small comfort to my tired heart to know
I have been loved so long ago.
I go to the edge of the clear waters
and dive again for a handful of gold
that might let me count on something.

Awake from all dreaming now
I can’t ignore that winter has arrived
and I stand alone again--
so lost now if I could cry out
with all this emptiness into this night
not even an echo would answer.