At My Expense

Grind the substance of your daily life
like grains of wheat between two rocks
and imagine what truths have been lost
like the chaff to the wind of too much
effort at finding the comfort
of a sweet companion.

This knowing is
like grinding teeth together
in a dream,
the slow exhale
into another pitiful death.

Know the sweating that soaks sheets
at two in the morning
that wakes you in heat
and freezes you as you turn your back
to the darkness
alone.

Know the darkness grinding the grains
of a fresh, youthful appearance
into dust--

into the lies and the false front
of a smile that charms your way
past the door of death
with the coins minted
at my expense.