Gone

for Jonah as he leaves for California (August 2018)

How do we navigate this departure
into the frontier of constant time
and traversing the Rockies
in a truck
with a box
you made
for yourself
when I thought my job
of calling you
from some celestial orbit
was the only sacrifice
that was required of me?

Sleepless nights and constant crying
while you navigated your way
out of some other deep sorrow
of another life

abandoned

and it was my job
to hold you.

"Don't let me go!" you screamed

day and night.  

Don't

let 

me 

go.

I stood my ground

because I called you

from all that darkness

into the light.

I

called

you.

Until now.

The truth is, you've been leaving for a while now.

The first day of kindergarten,

with your simple, shocking wave.

Boston, Florida,

skateboards, 

snowboards,

Miles and miles of music.

Alabama, NYC, road trips,

running away,

coming home

California

L

A

the alphabet of strangers

and angels, 

the city of the festival

of roses.

And now

the magnetism of mystery,

umbilical long gone.

I am lost in all the losses.

What can I say about love

when you are already

gone?