No Return

On the days the valley of the body is empty,
this place where stones are cold
and sand blows biting me
in the face,
I seek all that might
restore me
to the ghost
I once was.

I pray
that the ways
of pretending joy
are over.

Even on dark days
where clouds touch the water,
this shore, ocean and tides
fill me with healing
like the voice of God
whispering my name.

I can sleep here
and I dream
of only
the ways the winds
and the sun
make me whole.

Here I cast out my line
into the surf
knowing the hook
will drag the body
from where it has settled
and does not want to return.

Learning to Swim

I choke.
I sputter.
I give up
and rise to the surface
of the water and float,
resigned to the ways
that water releases me
even when I am lost
in the waves
of doubt
like today.

This clean and clear womb
comforts me under the open sky
and I swim in peace
under the stars
and watch the moon rise
over the mountain
and climb
toward heaven.

In this dreaming of no fear
I learn to swim
with so much strength
toward a shore
that welcomes me
like home.

Before We Were Born

There is no medal
given for the softness
of mothering.

No degree awarded
or measurement of the joy
 a woman gathers
as she gently offers her nipple
to the mouth of a child
and he attaches himself
hungrily to the milk
lifted from the center of her bones.

The body gleans
what it needs
from the warmth of skin
and the flow of the universe
from one soul to another
in the silent exchange
of these moments.

The soul is sustained
by the loving kindness
curled into the days and nights
of a lifetime of visiting
the bond made
before we were born.

Aura of Blue

Looking at the face
of the ocean,
I am in awe
of so much beauty.

The spark that reignites
my soul lives here
in the aura of blue
and green just at the surface
of the vast waters.

My smile
is automatic, almost spasm,
as I walk onto the sand.

It is joy to see this old friend.
It is peace that we share.

Galaxy of Souls

Somewhere,
hidden in the company of my blood
and with all the others who love me,
there is the tinder
that starts the fire in me
each morning

waking me
to the warmth
of the home
where this body
has learned
to live

and recognizes
the constellation
where the galaxy
of souls
began.

The Sound of Our Names

At midnight
under the dusting of stars
let me pad across the still warm pavement
to the sound of the waves
and renounce the world
where work and the sound  of busy days
dulls with each rise and fall of the tides
on the shore.

In the cloak
of the sky's dark laughter,
hold my hand
and tell me
a story
about the end
of the world.

Tell me about
how we leave this place
smiling and gasping
with so much love,

forgetting the words
for everything
except for the sound
of our names.

Asking for Forgiveness

Some Sundays
I plead with God,
bitter and bursting
with the bile of anger
mined from too many years
of cringing in my own private prison
waiting for a flare to show me
the way out-

fearing it might never come

pretending it doesn't matter
I've had to overlook
my own joy.

But today,
on this Sunday at the sea
I am at the House of God.

I pray in peace,
each step painless penance,
as I walk along the shore
and marvel at the color
of the light
as it flows through water
and into the stones
that used to be anchors
on the sand.

The breezes are perfect here
and the sun
burns away all traces
of the many sins
I have committed against
my own soul.

I kneel
under the blue of the sky
asking for
forgiveness.