No Return

On the days the valley of the body is empty,
this place where stones are cold
and sand blows biting me
in the face,
I seek all that might
restore me
to the ghost
I once was.

I pray
that the ways
of pretending joy
are over.

Even on dark days
where clouds touch the water,
this shore, ocean and tides
fill me with healing
like the voice of God
whispering my name.

I can sleep here
and I dream
of only
the ways the winds
and the sun
make me whole.

Here I cast out my line
into the surf
knowing the hook
will drag the body
from where it has settled
and does not want to return.