There are only three things
that are important in a life.
The first is to be kind.
The second is to be kind.
The third is to be kind.
–Henry James

Everything Has Changed

I can’t remember when the things of my old self started to fall apart
to where they are now—where everything has changed.

This is not to say
that my life, from the outside, is much different.
My children are happy
and growing up
as children will do
if we are lucky—like I seems to be today.
I haven’t decided to leave my current husband—
though I often plan my escape route
for when he will have me no longer.
I wake up to tea with cream, drizzled with maple syrup
each morning grateful for my tall cup of goodness
as I watch the seasons change around the white pines
of my windows in the woods.

But everything has changed.
Every cell in my body has been replaced by a knowing,
brick by stony brick,
toward a stairway to a home
I’ve never seen.
Each exhalation
I am shedding my old skin
from the inside of my snake self out,
layer after layer gone
until I crawl, naked
of any knowing.

There is nothing to say of this loss.
I am a neutralized solution, condensing again
toward a droplet of pure truth
on the tongue of God—
a waiting tear of joy and forgetfulness.
Until I am ready to fall
into that great nothingness,
I must remember to be kind.

I must walk gently
in the midst of mere mortals
without disturbing the myth
of the importance of the mind.

As my feet touch the wooden floor
of daylight, I am reminded
to be grateful for the lack of pain I might find
in the world, my ripple on the surface of the pond
of compassion
bringing comfort to everyone,
on even the most distant shores.

And, when the time finally comes to depart
and my shining key of kindness locks the door
behind me one last time, I will gladly place that glowing hope
in the hands of my loving family of friends,
my palms and pockets free
to scatter the seeds of goodness
along the path of searching,
feeding the birds
and small creatures
that will heal all of tomorrow—
making my way without words
clear as a dark December sky.